I was myself in this case, I attracted narcissistic perverts, which earned me a lot of setbacks and serious inconveniences.
If I had not worked on myself, my current husband would never have been able to enter my life, he is neither violent nor manipulative: what I was looking for, unconsciously, of course!
I never thought, “Great, someone who’s going to hurt me! Let’s go cheerful! I’m not masochistic!!
I wanted to run away from them and at the same time I only surrounded myself with this type of person.
Strange though! I simply reversed the problem; I did not attract but I was going to search. It took me a lot of courage to realize this, and I went through different stages such as denial, misunderstanding, guilt, anger against myself and finally acceptance which is the beginning of liberation.
Our unconscious will look for what it knows:
We don’t attract anything or anyone, but we will search. Consciously not, but our unconscious will look for what it knows. Terrible! The very good news is that we can get away of it and make our unconscious stop looking for the same profiles over and over again.
There are a few things to do anyway, nothing very complicated I assure you. First and foremost, understanding what our “comfort zone” is, mine was violence and manipulation, toeach his own, it means that my unconscious was built in an atmosphere where violence and manipulation were daily, so it was HIS normality; which does not mean that it is normal or that it suited me at the conscious level. It is very important to distinguish between conscious and unconscious. What suits us “well” at the unconscious level can be completely deleterious for the conscious, our well-being and life in general.
Define your “comfort zone” to avoid toxic people.
The main body of the work is already to define the contours or at least the outline of your “comfort zone“. That is to say, the limiting thoughts (among others) that come from our education received from our parents, the one we have made over the years, as well as the first times but also family habits, societal. So, a huge job but worth it, because from there, from your roots we can unlock the mental barriers that paralyze you today. Getting out of this famous zone allows you to let go of the old mental patterns and develop your wings, your freedom to think and therefore to act.
Choose
To choose is above all to give up, to abandon the maximum of mental patterns, the maximum of erroneous memories that are deleterious to us.
To choose is to become free!! It is to free oneself from these family, transgenerational chains…
Choosing is the beginning of autonomy, we make the choice to choose US. In this sense we become free, free will of our life, we choose more consciously.
But if everything were that easy, it would be known. If your unconscious has deemed it necessary to hide certain memories or events, if it has deemed it necessary to make you act in this or that way, it is not for nothing, this is exactly why I take time, essential, with the people who come to see me because respecting your unconscious is essential to a lasting evolution. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a blow of the wand.